For once I do not need retail therapy.

My kids are now I guess on strike towards me especially. Whenever they are with me, they will be an angel for a second and later a monster for many seconds. The tantrums and all the games begin. Everything doesnt seem to jive well. Morning has been a challenge. If Efi is ok, adik will throw tantrums. If Khazin is OK, efi will give the drama. Like this morning, Khilfi was so 'liat' to wake up. Khazin is all ok. Then, once Khilfi all ok already in the bathroom, Khazin started to throw a big tantrums. Dang. He runs all around the house refuse to wear his clothes and everything. Geram ok. A good 15 minutes of melalak. By this time Efi is my angelic boy.

Then both streamline to be all ok for a good 40minutes of the journey. Reached the school, khazin is all ok happily jumping around and suddenly the drama on Khilfi. Dang. He refused to enter the class and started crying. Why is this happening to me?

aghhhhhhh... I know I have been nagging and whining but I just need to let this out. I am at nerve of breakdown, shaking deep inside. Crying and everything. I don't know maybe this is a test from Allah to me. At the point work has been at its highest peak. At the time hubby also at highest job priority. Mmg besar ujian mu Ya Allah.

Thats why I feel like shutting everything off. I cant remember any happy thoughts. Too much negative aura now.

I don't know and now I may have to work again this weekend. I know project is meant to be temporary but the damage it caused oh.my.god.

ada sesuatu yang menggembirakan hari ini, tapi takleh nak tepek gambar blogger nih gile kot....

I feel like pulling the plug and just shut the window of my life at the office now.


I am tired with  everything happening now. Have i not done enough?


This is just another shitty day.


Think happy note ..breathe in breathe out..trying this mantra now and building up to be more on the positive side. I am not sure how long will i be able to hold this fort. 


With the new dates, I sure 'mati' oneeee...aghhhh

Apa lagi kekawan sekalian..

Well, while I am browsing through my lines of clothing (cewahh mcm byk giller baju kan), I notice I need a very nice blue and purple shoes just for the sake if I decided to play matching ala-ala goddess gitu. And those hours of browsing has landed my eyes over this nice creation that some of it match my 1 month salary. Dang!

For those who has been following my blog should recognize all this works..

I have to come to work tomorrow..

:(

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I am trying to be positive here.

Tunggu lah apa nak jadi nanti...

Tapi right now u know what I want? A paid trip to London or Dubai. Kakakakakakaka...melampau over the top nyer wish tapi sungguh. Perasaan melampau selepas melihat my bestie was bitten by a red bettle in UK and my other good friend is having so much fun in dubai.

Jadi boleh figure out tak perasaan meruap dan hasad dengki tahap dewa kelapan di mana jiwa ini memberontak mahu turut sama berada di sana.

Oh kena lebih gigih masuk facebook to generate more income....

bahagia rasa bermalas-malasan sepanjang bercuti..

I have been lazying around, cooking, sleeping, watching tv, groceries shopping and just staying put at home with my boys.

And on top of that I still earn RM100 every time I log in to facebook. Today alone has been very prosperous. Alhamdulillah.

I am now experiencing severe side effect from some medication that I took one week ago. I feel:-

1) dizzy
2) floating most of the time
3) Feel like vomiting most of the time
4) Cant eat so much, will be full too fast
5) stomach cramp..

Tak suka la....

Anyhow, I am waiting with 101% eagerness on the extended 4 days weekend to be here. No plan has been laid up front. Will just follow the flow and go with it. Too tired to think to busy to even plan. What i need is just a very good night undisturbed sleep be it from my sinus, breastfeeding or coldness. I'll pay whatever it takes to get a good sleep. I cant recall the last time I had a very good sleep.

Like last night, woke up at 230am due to sinusitis. At 4 am due to breastfeeding and at 6am due to server crashed at the data centre at its affecting my testing servers. I was like half awake having to liaise and do damage control with the vendor to ensure all users will be aware of everything at 630in the morning. How do i get into this in the first place huh? I think I was  crunching numbers in university to complete my Acctg degree and doing sales marketing plan during my MBA and how come I am looking at system deployment these days...

Life it is..

Whatever it, here I am wishing my chinese readers, if any, a very Happy New Year, Gong Xi Fa Chai, may it be a prosperous year ahead. And to all my blog readers enjoy the break.

Lets come back with a great and fresh start next week.. (itu ayat i bagi kat users this morning...) kakkakaka

I am married to my job now. And this is like 'kahwin paksa' style.

On this day, 4 years ago, my siblings and I, lost someone very dear, our beloved mother. My dad lost his devoted wife and life partner. My husband lost his another mother and Khilfi lost his wan.

This date will always be there no matter where we are what we do and how much we try to look forward ahead it will always be there back inside our head. The pain will never go away, the impact will always there no matter how we have move on. No matter people said you will soon get on with life, yes we did, but I will be a very big fat liar to say I can forget it. Not a tiny inch.

I am afraid, 4 year ago, I will lost my memories on my late mother. But actually everything that I do will remind me of her. Even, one of the reason I still stay through all the tough time at works now is part of her remembrance. She ironed my blue baju kurung with small pink flowers, the pink tudung and ensure I flew off to KL from KT just to attend the interview. She said she had a good feeling about this. True enuff, a month later, the call came in, I got the job. And still in it till today. She always said she's worried I may not going to adapt well with the culture as I am so extrovert, but hey, here I am today climbing the ladder and I bet she will be proud of me.

Whenever I stepped inside my house, I could not help but feeling oh-i-wish-mama-is-around to enjoy this. She didn't get the chance to be inside my house. She came to see the show house and keep on telling her officemate how she loves it. Today I shall lives what I've told on what I want for the house and yes every bits of it will remind me of her.

Whenever I am back in KT, I can see her everywhere. Whenever I see my sisters and brother deep inside I know she left us in a good care. When I bid goodbye to my brother abroad, I know he had fulfill my mom's dream. And all my 3 sisters at home is living the house the best they can I bet. Up to my mum expectations. The house is like that just like how she always like, and right now the 3 munchkins really gives the scene.

And my heart cry if I see my dad alone. I can imagine the loneliness but I know he is one strong chap.

On some bad days, I hate it to think she has gone. I still has so many things I wanna do with her. I wanna go round places with her. I wanna do more girls outing with her. I wanna eat all those delicious stuffs she always whipped up when I'm around. And I feel a big miss seeing how Khazin and Nina laughing their heart out and feeling how i wish mama is around to enjoy this.

But this is the Qada n Qadar Allah has stated for all of us. Yeap, it hurts but I am accepting. May you rest in peace mama. You are doing good and we miss you LOADS. We love you so much and truly hoping we shall reunited one day.....

Al-fatihah...

serious..and its only Monday.. :P

cuma penenang hati sbb bila login facebook tadi dapat lagi RM100.. Mantap ok!

I think I wanna try and do these with my boys this weekend. We have to attend a wedding and need to do quick provision in one of those days during weekend. Other than that, I vow to do something different D.I. Y.

And i guess this will be a good start..

Whooo Will Be My Valentine?

Photo by: mommycoddle

Added by mommycoddle

Source: mommycoddle (10)

Mom Rating

Ages: 3- 8 years

In: Arts & Crafts ,Holidays

Time to complete: 15 minutes

Make an owl valentine to share with all your friends

 Have you tried this activity? Share your photos here

I need a quick fix.

for the year 2010 is ...

...something that is close to me 24-7
...something I will carry with me 24-7
...something that amat important than all my LV's (ecehh cakap mcm tokei kedai LV...)
...something that I will not forget to leave the house with..

and here it is.....


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Over the weekend, someone has been upgraded.

But secretly  I think my son look bertambah handsome ok. :P Abislah lepas nih mak kena tapis calon menantu.. :P

Apa-apapun glasses or no glasses, we love u loads abang.. and this is not a barrier for you abang. We will go thru all these together ok...